Christmas NCIS style
by greeny-blue lights
Summary: A rather silly fic of how the NCIS team celebrates Christmas one year. This is my non-angsty fic... It was intended to be a ship fic, but it got out of hand slightly, and turned rather crazy. There is a slight Jibbs. Rated K for a kiss.


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**This is my non-angsty Christmas fic. It was intended to be a ship fic....but it got out of hand slightly. You can see a bit of Jibbs...I wanted to include Tiva and McAbby but I didn't have the chance. So I'll probably write another one...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS...**

**Enjoy!**

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Ziva swerved around the corner, and whooshed to a stop in front of a large, familiar double-storey house. It was snowing today, the small flakes transforming Jenny's house into a Winter Wonderland. She climbed out of the car, and viewed her surroundings. It was a rather nice street, and everyone had Christmas decorations. Ziva trudged towards the entrance and rang the doorbell.

_Ding-Dong_.

Jenny opened the door. She looked very motherly, with a matching apron and mitten set. Her red hair tumbled loosely onto her shoulders; her cheeks were flushed with warmth.

"Hey Ziva, come in. Abby's already arrived," Jenny kissed Ziva on the cheek, and led her in quickly. Jenny's house smelt delicious. The two hurried to the kitchen. Abby was standing there, trying to decipher the recipe. She was wearing the same apron and mitten set as Jenny.

"Hey Jenny…" Abby began. She looked up and saw Ziva. And you know what usually happens…

"ZIVA!" Ziva felt like she was going to suffocate. Finally, Abby let go.

"Merry Christmas Abby," Ziva gasped.

Abby turned around briskly, and then her face fell.

"Oops Jenny, I think I added the wrong flour….." Abby peered over the cookie batch. She had added whomeal instead of white.

"Oh well Abs, we can make do with whomeal cookies, they'll be good for us," Jenny patted Abby's shoulder comfortingly, "Now Ziva, here is the apron and mitten, and let's get to work!" Jenny handed to Ziva an apron and a mitten with the imprint "NCIS Women who can cook way better than men". Ziva smiled slightly, and put on the apron and mitten.

* * *

Tony, McGee and Gibbs were laughing on the couch….well, Tony was doing most of the laughing in actual fact. Each had a bottle of beer in their hand, Tony had dissuaded Gibbs from the bourbon, and were talking about very interesting topics. Gibbs was beginning to loosen up slightly from the influence of alcohol.

"So, boss-man, how's it going, Jenny and you?" Tony's words were slightly slurred. Tim turned eagerly to watch Gibbs' reaction. Gibbs, surprisingly, let out a laugh.

"What Jenny and me? Too much romance in that little head of your's DiNozzo," Gibbs leant over and whacked Tony on the head.

"I thought Xmas wasn't a time for whacking head, boss," Tony replied grudgingly. McGee had a fit of laughter, and rolled off the couch onto the floor. This caused Tony to laugh, and he tumbled down as well. Gibbs immediately put his legs up to take up the whole space.

"Now little doggies, do as Daddy Gibbs says and stay, stay! Good doggies." Gibbs pointed to Tim and Tony.

Laughter filled Gibbs' house as the men rolled around the floor in fits of laughter.

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"So, when are the men coming over?" Ziva asked in the middle of trying to multitask. She needed to pour the white wine over the lamb, as well as check that the whomeal cookies weren't burning.

"Oh, they'll just come over for the food. You have brought your PJs, haven't you, Ziva?" Abby asked. The women were having a sleepover, reliving the days of their youth.

"Of course Abby! Now…help me by getting that bottle of….."

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_Ding-Dong_.

"Go, my Loyal St Bernard, go get the door!" Gibbs cried. Tim lay flat on his back, giggling.

"Come, McGiggle, let us do what Master Leroy Jethro Gibbs says!" Tony yelled, and barked like a dog. McGee and Tony crawled towards the door, and swung it open.

There, stood Ducky, gazing at Tony and Tim in a rather curious manner. He shared one glance with Jethro, and immediately knew what was going on.

"Good doggies. Now go back to your master," Ducky shooed Tony and Tim back to Gibbs. The two stood up, and walked calmly back.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, may you please move your legs," Tony asked in a polite, deep voice. Tim fell again, clutching his stomach.

"I certainly will," Gibbs replied in a high, girly voice that made McGee freeze in shock. Tony plonked himself down onto the couch.

"Well, I say we go and annoy our women….." Tony smiled evilly, "And I have just the equipment!" He lugged a huge bag over.

"Your Magnum P.I toys, Tony?" Tim asked.

"Not just any Magnum P.I toys, Timmy boy. These are boy's toys. We have water pistols, those talkie-walkie thingies…all that we need!" Tony exclaimed.

"Well, gear up, boys; we're off on to war!" Gibbs announced, attaching a water pistol to his belt.

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Abby finally put up the last bit of mistletoe. The whole house was literally covered in it, and Abby had plans…yes she had very interesting plans involving a man and a woman…

"Abby!" Abby nearly toppled off the chair in surprise. Jenny was standing with her hands on her hips, gazing up. Abby blushed and slowly got of the chair.

"Eer…Hi Jenny! I'd better get back to…the cooking," Abby dashed back to the kitchen. Jenny smiled, gazing up towards the mistletoe. She knew exactly what Abby had in mind.

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Gibbs snuck up to the tree at the back of Jenny's house. He motioned silently for the other's to follow. Tony, McGee and Ducky hid behind several trees. Gibbs tried to fiddle with his walkie talkie…technology seriously sucked. McGee was motioning frantically at him to show him how to work it….finally, Gibbs got it.

"Damn it, I HATE WALKIE-TALKIES!" Gibbs hissed into the little machine. Tim and Tony grimaced.

"Now, our aim is to get the food and ruin the house…got it?" Tony whispered into the walkie-talkie, "Probie and I will take care of the women and the house, Ducky and Boss man will take care of the food. All ready?" Tony was answered by muttered 'yes's and a _humph_ from Gibbs.

"Go!"

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Abby motioned to Jenny and Ziva to come over to the oven.

"What, Abby?" Jenny asked. Abby pulled out a water gun.

"Found this in Tony's drawer along with a Spiderman web thingy and several walkie-talkies. I think the boys are going to raid the house and steal the food…they are just so impatient and selfish. So I got us these." Abby extracted three huge water pistols along with three guns that shoot slime. She also brought a few paperclips which she handed to Ziva.

"Just in case!"

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The four men snuck silently through the back door in to the house. Gibbs and Ducky went off in the direction of the kitchen, while Tony and McGee went off in the direction of the living room.

Gibbs and Ducky tiptoed lightly through the hallway, and saw the kitchen. They could hear hot chocolate bubbling and delicious smells wafted out of the kitchen.

"Oh my, I can not wait to eat this feast!" Ducky whispered. Gibbs nodded. The two entered the kitchen…..

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_WOOOOSHHHHHHH_!!!!! Ziva, Abby and Jenny stood there holding the huge water guns, and a huge fountain of water sprayed out onto Ducky and Gibbs. They were completely soaked. Gibbs drew out his gun (the water gun, not the real bullet-shooting gun), and shot a small spray back at them, but Abby hauled a huge slime gun, and Gibbs and Ducky were completely slimed.

Ziva shot forward with alarming speed, and handcuffed Ducky to the kitchen table. Gibbs was in a defensive pose, ready to attack anyone who came with handcuffs.

Jenny had a solution. She walked up to Gibbs. And it helped that Abby had hung a lovely piece of mistletoe right above their heads.

"Hello, Jethro," she whispered flirtatiously. This caused Gibbs' heart to beat frantically. She wiped the slime off his face, and then planted her lips onto his in a loving kiss. Gibbs completely lost it then, and Jenny immediately cuffed him to the kitchen table as well.

Abby took a shot of the kiss with her phone, ready to spread it around after Christmas. Jenny kissing a completely wet and slimed Gibbs…could be worth a fortune!

Then Ziva picked up the little walkie-talkie…..

* * *

"Man, they have set up this house for Christmas fantastically!" Tony exclaimed, examining the warm living room with the glowing fireplace and the huge Christmas tree with lots of presents at the bottom.

"Then we shou…" McGee began, but the walkie-talkies buzzed.

"Gibbs, Ducky, report?" Tony asked in a business-like fashion. The answer made McGee and DiNozzo's face turn deathly white.

"Two agents down, what shall our little boysies do?" Ziva's soft and scary voice asked.

"Run!" McGee screamed, and the two bolted out of the front door.

Then Ziva, Abby and Jenny burst out, holding the huge water-guns and the slime guns. Tony and Timmy's face blanched, they were nearly as white as the snow!

Three huge jets of water burst out, and McGee and Tony were soaked, and shivering. They got slimed next. After Ziva decided it was done, she went inside to get Gibbs and Ducky. Handcuffing the two together, she led out her prisoners.

"Here are your other two vagabonds," she announced. Then she handcuffed them all together, allowing Abby to take another quick picture. The women smiled at their masterpiece.

"What say ye all to dinner?" Jenny announced.

"I think we need to clean up first, ma'am," Ducky chortled. The sound of laughter filled the air.

Christmas NCIS style was truly classic.

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**I hope you enjoyed it! This is the longest one-shot I have ever posted...so yay! Please review!**


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